11: Natasha Salaash: De-Colonizing Parenting As a Foundation for Touch, Intimacy, and Pleasure.
“I applied that touch to myself to attune to my own body. At first it was really hard, I was extremely disconnected from my body. I loathed it. I felt disgusting. I did all the things, ..I set timers, … intentional practise of an hour of this. A lot of boredom. Then eventually my body started telling me the stories of my life through my fingers. I felt the lines in my face and I remembered my time in Kenya in the sun. The strength in my shoulders from carrying babies. The stretch marks in my stomach. The lips of my vulva. It was just like a storybook of the most vivid imagery. I was like, “wow, I feel so good to touch. Anybody would actually be really, really lucky to touch this body of mine.”
Stretch marks that I’d hated and loathed actually create an incredible texture playground to the fingers. The grooves and the wrinkles. It took a while. It was not overnight. It was months. But eventually i started really appreciating my body. That was pre even learning to masturbate with my hands. I had to learn that and discover. And that was another level of “this is disgusting”. Then, “no actually, this is amazing.” I so believe in the power of touch that’s present, non demanding and non goal oriented.”
This conversation begins with Natasha’s experiences living in Kenya with the Maasai tribe on and off for 5 years, and how her watching their ways of being with children opened up a process of change from the inside out, in her own relationship to her children, and also her relationship to herself with touch, intimacy, and finally a grounded relationship with sexuality.
As I was putting the podcast together and re-listening to our conversation, I was struck by the concept and work of decolonizing the body and the self. We didn’t use that term in our conversation. It comes from indigenous and BIPOC wisdom. It is a path we can all engage in to potentially re-engage with our bodies, our emotions, our felt sense, of working with conflict, of love, and of community and connection with humans and the more than human. Natasha’s journey is gorgeous, slow, and profound. And I know it continues through her work in sexuality, through her relationships with her family and loved ones, and her ways of being in the world.
When Natasha was 20, she witnessed female genital mutilation first hand in Kenya, and realized that a part of a woman’s power comes from her right to pleasure. Uncomfortable with this right for herself, it took over a decade before Natasha began her journey inwards — reconnecting to her innermost self, her right to pleasure, and then supporting others to do the same. Today Natasha holds space for clients as a Sex and Intimacy Counsellor, Intimacy Coach, Betty Dodson Certified Bodysex facilitator, Orgasm Coach, Breathwork facilitator, Body Awakening and Genital Dearmouring practitioner.
You can connect with and learn more about Natasha Salaash’s work in these places:
https://natashasexcounselling.ca/
https://natashasalaash.com/
If you want to support my podcast, you can buy me a coffee.